I was here

Communication: Journal Prompt 43 – Unresolved letter

Journal Prompt 43
In your journal write a letter (you will never send) to someone you have unresolved issues with. Who you are upset with, feel anger towards or to someone who left you feeling ‘off center’ after something they have said or done.

You can even write the letter to yourself about a regret you are holding.

Explain how you are feeling. Get it all out.

If you are ready, at the end of the letter I encourage you to try and write I forgive you, I’m sorry, thank you, I love you. It is not for their benefit but for your own.
This is from the Hawaiian practice of forgiveness known as Ho’oponopono. Created to help release you from holding onto negative emotions about a situation. Therefore allowing you to move forward.

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Dear B’s Dad (lol),

I wish we had had a better relationship.  I wish you could have stayed sober long enough for us to have  a normal father-daughter relationship.  You robbed me of that.  A lot of kids didn’t even have their fathers around while they were growing up.  At least you were there for my first 11 years of life, even though I don’t have any memories of you being in the house.

(Geez, I don’t seem to have many memories of ME being in the house.  I needed a camera back then!)

But you couldn’t stay sober to be around for the last 7 years of my childhood, during my teenage years when a girl needs her father around.  No, you had to be in a bar instead.  Maybe if I started drinking I could have hung out with you at the bar.  At least I would have been able to see you more than once a year, then maybe that day on the bus when you didn’t even know who I was never would have happened. It hurt my feelings on one hand, but by then I was an adult and knew of the effects of alcohol on a person’s brain.  So I wasn’t surprised that happened.  I thought it was a shame though and I never forgot it.

But I can sit here today, years later, and say I already forgave you.  I knew I had gotten past it when I called and we finally met for breakfast one morning to have a discussion.  That took a lot for me to make that call.  But I did it.

Rest in peace.