I was here

Communication: Journal Prompt 38 – Emotions & Actions

Journal Prompt 38
Walk around a bookstore or library and open a random book and select a page. Write down the first sentence of the second paragraph. Now write about whatever came to mind when you read the sentence. If you cannot make it to a bookstore or library, use a book from your own bookshelf or eBook collection.

**********

Using the bookshelf that is less than 6 feet from me and selecting the first book on the shelf:

“At one time or another, we’ve all let our emotions get the best of us and said or did things we didn’t mean to.”

Hmmm……

Once we were at a staff meeting and our director (two bosses up), made mention of someone in our group that was doing such a wonderful job leading our staff and blah, blah, blah.  She was a horrible team lead, and the director was even worse.  So sitting and listening to this crazy director praise this crazy team lead like this just got under my skin so badly that I got up and walked out of the meeting. I didn’t say anything to anyone.  I didn’t make a fuss and carry on.  There was no scene or anything.  You couldn’t even tell I was mad.  Straight-faced!  I just walked out. I went to my office, logged off, got my purse, and went home.

I came in the next day and ‘got talked to’ by the director with her saying I can’t just get up and leave her staff meeting.  But that’s exactly what I did.  I got written up, which, again, I had never gotten a bad mark at work before on any job.  I am a rule follower by nature.  It I’m supposed to do a, b, and c, then I will do a, b, and c.  But when someone else does not follow the rules at all, makes up rules as they go, and then get praises and raises and promotions and STILL does not do the job right at all, AND the boss’s boss wants to act like they’re the right person for that job,  I’m just not sitting still to watch that anymore.  She put on that show and I didn’t want to watch it.   So I walked out.

Never in all of my working life had I done anything like that.  But I had had enough of the whole place by then.  I can’t remember how much time it was between the time that happened and the time I turned in my resignation but I must have been pretty close to the end by then.

I didn’t mean to walk out because that is just not me to do something like that.  But I knew in my heart of hearts if I didn’t leave that place at that moment, I was going to lose my mind….and my job.  I couldn’t afford to lose my job.

I wouldn’t advise doing that of course, because unless you can afford to lose your job, you should be careful about such things.  But that day, I failed. I let my emotions get the best of me and did something I shouldn’t have done.  Luckily I didn’t get fired, and I’ve kept my emotions under control at work since then.

Lesson learned.