If you let suicide win, we all lose.
Sometimes life can get the best of us. We have all been there. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety in the past and know how it feels to even consider it.
But suicide is a permanent irreversible reaction to a temporary problem. No matter what the problem is that you are facing in life, it won’t last forever. Nothing does. Everything is temporary, even life. So you HAVE to hold on just to see how YOUR whole story will play out, how your kids will turn out, how your family will change/grow, etc. There is so much to look forward to. You may not see it at the time, but you won’t see it at all if you go through with committing suicide.
I know when things reached an extremely low point for me, I was too curious to see how God was going to fix that mess that I didn’t make, to miss out on it.
I held on! Sure enough, I am in a much better place now. The feeling is never totally gone, especially in the state of the world we live in today, but again, I just think these crazy times will eventually end. They have to.
Please, please, please don’t do it.
Talk to someone. And if you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone, there is always a pen and some paper. Write! Grab a notebook and write until your heart and mind are clear. It may take days, weeks, months, or years but get it out of your head.
Journaling can bring clarity and forgiveness.
Journaling can save your life. I truly believe it saved mine.
Talk to someone. Or write it out. But deal with it either way before it gets the best of you. Anything that you are passionate about, stay here for it to help get you through the tough times.
If you let suicide win, we all lose.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-Talk
SSSVeda Time Again
Yes, I’m on the sssveda bandwagon again this April 2018 because I enjoy finding new creators and going through the month with them.
I’ve just uploaded my Day 7 video, but here is my intro video. https://youtu.be/uNc479PGSFA
While you’re there on my channel, subscribe and comment so I know you dropped by to say hi.
Commute: Mid-week trip to Vegas
At the last minute I decided to book a trip to Las Vegas, as a mini vacation because I wanted to go SOMEWHERE this year. Well, I have been to Pittsburgh and Louisville for weekend trips to visit family but this was not a family trip. I just needed a break from my everyday surroundings, even though I usually don’t travel in December if it involves flying because I worry about the weather affecting either the flight out or the flight back.
But I went ahead and booked this trip because I just needed it.
I took some photos, of course, and wanted to share those here in this video. I enjoyed my stay at The Venetian and look forward to returning someday.
Capture: A little of my night photography in DC
It has been on my mind to get to Washington DC and record a video at night of the some of the monuments but work has been so busy with deadlines and covering people who were on vacation, and working over my regular hours, etc., that I had zero energy after the workdays to actually GO to DC.
Then I remembered I had printed photos of the last time I went to DC with my camera at night. Just thought I would share a couple or so.
Commute: Thinking about the RV life…..
Now, this one shocked even me.
I’ve never actually been camping, not really an outdoorsy type, but I want an RV all of a sudden. I want to be able to travel across the country with my camera in hand (have always wanted to do this) and just road trip all the way. Now, rather than spending money on hotels, I figured I could do it in an RV instead.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw the local RV show advertised and purchased a ticket. I was curious to check them out. Before the RV show actually happened, I started checking them out online and trying to learn the differences between the different types of RVs. I knew I wouldn’t want something I had to hook up and pull because that’s too much ‘mechanical’ for me and I don’t want to deal with things like that. What if I hooked it up wrong and it came loose during driving, causing an accident or something? NO THANKS!! I’d probably hit everyone on the highway with that thing.
So if I were going to do this, it would have to be a motorized vehicle that I could just drive, not hookup. I didn’t want anything huge because I’ve never actually driven a truck, except maybe a Uhaul. So that knocked out Class A and Class C RVs. This left me with Class Bs, which are about the size of a van, well a little bigger.
I found a Winnebago Paseo and loved it. By the time the RV show happened, my main goal was to find that particular model and check it out. But before that, I walked around the RV show, checking out all of the others and eventually came across the Paseo.
I was never more comfortable! I loved everything about it. I felt like I could drive it comfortably. I felt I could handle traveling in it, or living in it for a weekend or a week. After retirement, if healthy, I might even consider full-time. Lots to think about.
I talked to a sales rep from one of the companies represented there and got a lot of information on the van itself. I was getting more and more excited about this.
Then I had to get back to my senses. I have a job to go to everyday. I have a house I’m paying for too. I can’t exactly be out here traveling around the US in a van and not be at work, and still have to pay a mortgage. I either need to quit my job, sell my house, find alternative income, etc. or some other plan for this to work.
I left the RV show in my little SUV and although excited about the possibilities, the realities of it all came rushing back as I pulled into my garage here at home…..and then Monday came the next day. Nothing will smack you back into reality like a Monday morning.
Sigh. I felt like my dream was gone in a flash.
Since the RV show, I have watched a gazillion videos on YouTube about RVing and I have to admit, for a minute, I thought about a few ways I could make it happen. But I will remain in the research & dream stage until I get closer to retirement age before I make any major moves. If I could figure out a way to afford one now while I’m working, and use it on the weekends and vacations, I would buy it now. But I’m working on a couple of other things (like paying off my credit card debt) within the next few months. After that, my head will be a little clearer to make a decision on this.
Meanwhile, when I’m at work, all I think about the day I can jump in my RV and drive off to explore the world.
I did record a quick video while at the RV show and wanted to share that. (I still want it!)
Check it out and let me know what you think. Would you become an RVer? Could you live in an RV full-time? What type would you purchase?
Communication: Welcome back!
It seems that I have been in a funk for the past year and I’m not 100% sure why. Well, I guess I know some of the reasons why but not something I care to discuss at this moment. I will probably need to journal through that first. However, the clouds are finally lifting from my brain and I’m working on getting things back in order in my life. Restoration Time.
My interest in writing is slowly returning and I’m thankful for that. While in this funk, I knew I needed to write to help get through whatever was bothering me, but I really didn’t write anything beyond posting to social media, except for Nanonwrimo that I attempted back in November 2016. When I’m tired, I don’t really have an interest in anything except getting through the day. Survival mode is all I can handle during that time.
My interest in traveling probably won’t ever go away, although lately, I’ve had to cancel two vacations for different reasons and I’m partly stressed about that because as of this month, it’ll be a year since I’ve been on a week-long vacation. Anyone that knows me knows that is not what I do. I try to travel somewhere every four months, so to go 12 months now feels like my head is going to explode from not having a moment to travel and clear my head.
I’ve gone to Kentucky to visit my brother & sister-in-law a couple of times and I believe my last trip to Pittsburgh was probably to take the kids back last summer. Both were only weekend trips. I need a week-long vacation but since I cancelled two cruises last week (for September and December), I have other things planned to keep busy. Instead of being totally bummed about the fact that I’ve taken no vacation since last July, I decided I’m going to work on my hobbies during this time, until I can schedule a vacation for the right time and more importantly, to the right place. I have been wanting to travel to somewhere different, do something different, but because I was too busy to research and plan anything, I went for the easy way out and booked a cruise, two actually, to make sure I had somewhere to go, something to do. A month later, I cancelled them both because it just wasn’t what I really wanted to do. My interest in baking is returning, partially. I will probably always love to bake but I am not interested in baking for myself. I would say about 95% of my baking is because I want to give them to someone or take them to an event. The last time I baked was in June for a co-worker’s son’s graduation party. But before that, was probably for my Cookie Exchange back in December 2016. That 6 months is a long gap, for me.
My interest in photography is sitting there, always by my side, like a loyal pet. I wanted to say a cat, but cats do their own thing and will leave you sitting there by yourself when they don’t feel like being bothered. So much like me. Maybe I should get a cat. 😊
I’ve thought about getting a cat since buying this house and then I think about my hardwood floors that this cat might tear up. I probably should research that, but I’m thinking, no. Then I think, well I could just get carpet. Yes, that would solve that problem. Then I think about how cats like to climb up on things and if I ever saw a cat on my fantabulous (lol) kitchen counter, I’d never want to bake on it again.
Maybe I don’t need a cat.
So, yes I am back to my blog that I’ve neglected for the first half of 2017.
I’m glad to be back, and I’m glad to have you back too!
Communication: #SSSVEDA Time again!
Yes, April 1st is tomorrow and that means it’s #sssveda time again. Time to vlog everyday in April.
I wasn’t sure if I would participate again this April but as it got closer and closer to the end of March, I started thinking “What can I vlog about?” I reached out to my nieces to ask them if there is anything they would want me to record. I did get a couple of suggestions but I’m not sure how or if I’ll be able to work them into a video, but we shall see.
Do I have enough to vlog about everyday? Not at all because I haven’t been doing a lot of anything outside of work lately since my promotion, but I’m going to give this a try anyway because I need a break to create something since I haven’t journaled, baked, traveled, nor taken any photographs lately.
Here is my youtube channel where you can see my upcoming vlogs.
So stop by my channel and watch the videos when you have time, leave me a comment so I know you got to see it, and click the thumbs up if you liked the video.
Hit that SUBSCRIBE button while you’re on my channel so you’ll get a notice whenever I upload a new video! Wouldn’t want you to miss what I want to show you.
Ok…..announcement made, committment done, now it’s time to hit that record button in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…..Action!